Jim Donovan ran a business poetry competition over on his excellent site recently. I’ve always liked Jim’s blog, the literary reference in the title is a good start, and Jim’s penchanct to not suffer fools gladly is refreshing, even when I am the fool on the receiving end.
It has to be said that the number of entries to the comp was a little disappointing, but at the end of the day Jim judged my entry to be the best (well the least bad anyway).
I’ve always had a soft spot for ST Coleridge (in the same way that he had a soft spot for opium) so here, in all of it’s minimal glory, is a rip off of his most famous work…..
In board room did CEO attune,
And telco assurance thence declare,
Where profit, the sacred measure, to man,
Through anti-competitive measures beyond compare,
Down to monopolies should be.
So hark! That mighty CEO declared
No government or commission could be dared
To regulate the glorious, the ceaseless beast
Where dividends great, and fortunes grand
And vested interests since all time
Were protected in ivory towers.
But oh! That confident romantic dream which existed
In the deep cavernous boardrooms of their souls!
A savage place? Once holy and enchanted
As e’er beneath a NZX rating was haunted
By a woman wailing for an exit payment
And from this point, with US trips aplenty
As if the ship had already sunken and away
A mighty board suddenly was forced
Amid howls of derision from the industry
Huge changes would be wrought
Unbundling beneath the telecommunications Minster’s flail
And amid these tumultuous changes for all time
It flung up once a sacred concept
Naked DSL through the many miles the business ran
Through wood, dale and CBD
Then reaching those caverns measureless to man
Yes – even the competitors could compete equally!
And ‘mid this tumult Teresa heard from afar
The days were numbers, it ‘twas like was like war!
The shadow of the hallowed halls
Floated midway on the credibility rankings;
Where was heard the complaints from competitors
From the ISP’s and the Telco’s.
It was a miracle of rare electronic device,
A sunny Paul Reynolds hence from BT would slice !
A bloke with a history
In a vision once I saw:
It was a country with backbone galore,
And on broadband we did all transact,
Singing of Bell and Berners-Lee.
Could they revive within it
The symphony that was the P&T,
To such a deep delight ‘twould win the institutionals,
That with iTunes music loud and long,
They would build that infrastructure,
That fibre! those exchanges and VOIP services!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His wavy hair, his Scottish accent
Let the proof be in the pudding,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
Less the Telecom of old,
Return again to monopolise our souls.