I see some pretty bad press releases, but recently I saw what is perhaps the worst ever. 400 words in and I actually had no idea what the hell this company does. I’ve edited out the name of the company because, frankly, with material like this they don’t deserve the link love. Honestly, it’s pitches like this that make me less than excited to do what I do. I’m honestly struggling to think how this company (or their PR agency) could have done this release any worse…

Ten points for anyone who leaves a translation of this pitch in the comments, undying respect for anyone who can explain what it actually means….

[Random company who LOVES buzzwords] Launches New Contextual Analytics, Engagement and Execution Solution for CSPs

Allows Operators to Increase Revenues from Data Services by 15% through Increased Data Service Adoption, Monetization and Customer Experience

[Random company who LOVES buzzwords], the leading provider of Continuous Contextual Engagement solutions optimizing personalized contextual marketing for Communication Service Providers (CSPs), today announced the launch of a new contextual analytics, engagement and execution solution, which increases mobile data service adoption, opens new monetization opportunities with OTT partners, and optimizes customers’ service experience.

[Random company who LOVES buzzwords] new solution uses a unique analytical model to build the “data profile” of each customer and automatically engage in a personalized manner. With full integration to DPI and PCRF network systems, the new [Random company who LOVES buzzwords] solution enables CSPs to execute personalized actions that leverage the real-time context of each individual customer including customer engagement, product activation and price plans, and applying dynamic network policies such as zero-rate data. By leveraging carrier-grade, contextual, real-time big data analytics and personalized fulfillment technologies, [Random company who LOVES buzzwords] enables the type of personalized service that improves service experience and increases data adoption and revenues.

“Simplified fixed data price plans have become the prevailing approach in many markets. However, they fail to maximize revenue potential and properly address the customers’ dynamic digital lifestyles” says [someone who seriously has to be a douchebag from said random company]. “Our new solution revolutionizes the way operators manage the mobile data business by tailoring the relevant experience for every customer at any time. Most importantly, we’ve demonstrated that our contextual and personal engagement dramatically improves service adoption, usage, and satisfaction, leading to increase in data revenues by 15%.”

“Our new contextual analytics solution enables our clients to execute personalized actions that leverage the real-time context of each individual customer,” [another, obviously even smarter dude from said company] “This immediate, meaningful, and personal customer engagement helps CSPs more effectively reach their business objectives and interact with their customers in an entirely new and personalized way”

The [Random company who LOVES buzzwords] solution can be applied differently as the CSPs data strategies evolve to focus on service adoption, monetization, or service experience. It supports a wide range of business needs and use cases such as migration from 3G to 4G ad-hoc speed boosters, on-demand services, bridge bundles, application-based differentiation, sponsored data with OTT partners, and more.

About [Random company who LOVES buzzwords]

[Random company who LOVES buzzwords] enables marketing organizations to execute Continuous Contextual Engagement and establish personal relationships with millions of subscribers, turning them into long-term, loyal and profitable customers. [Random company who LOVES buzzwords] is revolutionizing Customer Engagement and personalized contextual marketing by bridging the gap between the dynamic multi-dimensional objectives facing CMOs and the needs of each specific customer.

In a time when informed consumers are facing an increasingly wide range of choices, and when loyalty and customer experience are top priorities, world-leading Tier-1s rely on [Random company who LOVES buzzwords] to manage individual lifecycles for more than 400 million customers.

The [Random company who LOVES buzzwords]nsolution combines advanced technology with unique marketing know-how to help its customers execute their strategies and achieve financial excellence.

Ben Kepes

Ben Kepes is a technology evangelist, an investor, a commentator and a business adviser. Ben covers the convergence of technology, mobile, ubiquity and agility, all enabled by the Cloud. His areas of interest extend to enterprise software, software integration, financial/accounting software, platforms and infrastructure as well as articulating technology simply for everyday users.

3 Comments
  • Translation: I hope I sound mysteriously competent so you’ll give me money and I’ll be able to disguise my lack of results with meaningless jargon.

  • The company seems to be saying in multiple sentences, what could have been said in less. They provide a solution that can analyze and handle big data, to make use of customer profiles, history, noted preference and purchasing behavior to predict how these customers (of communication service providers) want to be marketed to, going forward. The press release may have missed specifying the branded name of this solution. It leverages data from past purchases / inquiries from customers or prospective customers to predict future purchases. It uses a proprietary model to predict and create a data profile for each customer. In turn, the data profile is used to “sell/market” to customers in a personalized way with offerings that relate directly to the customers’ noted preferences that are in line with past purchasing behavior. What seems to be new about the solution, is that it can match personalized and targeted offerings to customers in real-time, triggered by real-time behaviors. In short, it is a strategic solution to help with personalized and targeted sales/up-selling/retention/engagement. It fosters customer retention by helping to reduce churn, and contributes to greater revenues. The solution is a data analytic, profiling and engagement tool to help create a brand experience where people feel as though the offers are made just for them and their real-time needs/wants, and at the same time, simplifies the needs of chief marketing officers as they determine what offers will sell best to whom and how. This sounds like an extension of an already launched solution. I stopped reading maybe a branded name of the solution was mentioned. If not, I see add-ons for the solution: the customer profiles are now linked to new real-time triggered marketing functions.

  • it must me an “amazing” company

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